Day 1

My first entry :)
I guess I should start my introducing myself. My name is Chantal, I am 19 years old and live in Montreal, CAN. Why am I here? Well, for many reasons actually.
a) I am a total chocoholic. I cannot go a day without it. I eat it when I am happy, I eat it when I am sad. Sometimes I catch myself literally going out in the middle of the night to get my daily fix.
b) most of my eating is emotional. No matter what my day is like, my solution to anything is food. I reward myself with food, punish myself with food. is they all cause me to eat eat eat (chocolate of course).
c) My mother stopped making my school lunches when I was 7. Now to some, this may seem insignificant. But what is a 7 year old to make for lunch? Most days I would buy 2 packs of 2 saltine crackers with a slice of cheese. I had these for 2 years straight. I was so embaressed to eat more because I feared that if I did, my peers would know why I was fat. Of course I binged the second I got home from being so starved. Sadly, like way too many kids, I was never taught proper eating habits.

The point is, all my life I have been overweight, I never lost my baby fat and and recently I was classified as 'morbidly obese'. What a lovely term! I quickly learned that my weight was going to be in issue in everything I did, and I did try to lose weight. I remember being 8 or 9 and my aunt's clothes not fitting me. I remember feeling astonished that 'grown-up' clothes were too small on me. I remember my pediatrician urging my mother to change my eating habits at every annual check-up. I gained 73 lbs in 3 years. Diet after diet, disappointment after disappointment I tried to lose weight. My most successful attempts were with weight watchers. I joined for the first time when I was 14. I weighed in at 238.8, just 7lbs less than my mother. I did really well for a few months then suddenly, I remember looking at the scale and seeing 205.4 and just freaking out and I lost sight of my goal from there. I can't explain why this happened. It was almost as if I was afraid of losing weight. I gained the weight back (and more) within 2 years and then my graduating year I decided to recommit. I joined a gym and gave weight watchers a 3434545720750487607th shot. I lost almost 40lbs in 5 months and the same thing happened again and I soon gained the weight back again. Soon after this I had to have emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed partially due to my eating habits. I was the youngest in the ward by at least 30 years lol Eye-opening bit much? Yes!

I gave up all weight loss attempts until a couple of years ago when a friend of mine, who I had met on a weight loss message board, told me about gastric bypass. I knew this was an extremely drastic step...but I started reading articles, studies, and blogs of people who had had it done. When I talked to my doctor about it, she agreed to it to my surprise and gave me the recommendation. I held on to that recommendation for 6 months before I got the guts to actually send in my first round of paperwork. All that excitement to find out that the waiting list was 4 to 7 years long and I was not 'obese' enough to be put on it. So I put that aside until my father brought the fact that the surgery was important enough and he was willing to pay for the surgery if I really wanted it. Again I had some internal issues to deal with and I was actually scared. I think part of my was relieved when I was denied the first time. I went forward and scheduled my first appointment with Dr Christou. I weighed in at 268.8lbs, BMI of 46.2...my highest ever.

The appointment went very well and Dr Christou put all my concerns at ease and we went ahead and scheduled my RNY for May 1st, 2007. 91 days from today.

I cannot wait to keep track of my progress on here!!!

xoxo