Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Reviving my blog

I've typed and erased today's entry about 10 times now. I have no excuses for not updating my page. I honestly lost touch with my post-RNY self. I think moving downtown, making new friends, living a whole new life made me lose track of a lot of things.
Last year I gained 19 lbs from my lowest post-op weight. NINTEEN POUNDS. In 9 or so months. I was petrified. I felt horrible, horrible guilt. I don't even know what to say about that except that I'm doing much better and am now 8 or so pounds away from my lowest weight (I've lost 11 since the fall).
I almost completely blocked this blog from my mind until today, when in therapy, I brought it up. My therapist, who I have been seeing since early May, has been asking me to keep a sort of thought diary and I'd been avoiding doing that like the plague. "Getting real" is not easy!