My weight in the last18 months:

I weighed myself this morning (as I have quite a bit in the last few weeks, a good thing) and was pleasantly surprised to see 171.1. Just under 2lbs away from my lowest all-time post-RNY weight (Dec. 31st, 2007).

Dec. 31 2007 - 169.2
Mar. 6 2008 - 177.8
Apr. 23 2008 - 182.3
Aug. 26 2008 - 189.3
Jul. 11 2009 - 171.1



It's been a crazy wave! But I'm feeling much, much better about myself and my future. Asking my doctor for help did wonders for me. It took a long time to gather the courage to approach my doctor and say "I suck at this and need help". It wasn't easy and not to put down my surgeon's nurse, but he is not an easy one to talk to! I went for my follow-up and the first words out of his mouth: "Why have you gained weight?" and I honestly felt like a complete failure right there and then. I started gaining weight months before my 1-year surgaversary. I was in deep, deep denial and to cope...I binged. Every night like clockwork I snuck down to the kitchen and aspirated as much junk as I could. Some nights I would get so sick, I'd end up just passing out. Literal food coma. I didn't tell anybody, I just rapidly started gaining weight. I knew I had to stop this...I just had no idea how to even begin tackling the issue.
I moved out of my parent's home last June. It was very exciting. I could control what I brought into my own kitchen. This was great until I started buying exactly what my parents did. Now however, I had no body but an often absent roommate to hide food from. I just kept on eating. I started seeing a personal trainer, thinking that exercise would motivate me to eat better but then I lost my job and couldn't afford to keep seeing him. School was wearing me out and I hated what I was studying. I failed 2/4 classes that semester.
Without drastically changing anything, I noticed I had lost 7-8 lbs throughout the year...until my follow-up and blood work at the end of April. After confessing that I sucked at eating, I was referred to the nutritional therapist. He's a recent graduate, very easy to talk to, considering this is stuff I've had bottled up forever and have never told anybody. He finds it fascinating how I over-analyze absolutely everything. He's taught me not to feel guilty for eating. And oddly enough it's helped me not binge, at all for a while now. If I want a piece of chocolate, I have just a piece and I don't feel guilty. I also don't buy any cookies. Cookies have and always will be my weakness. If I really want cookies, I buy the premium super expensive ones. If I'm going to have something, it has to be good. And I'm fine with that. In my freezer I have a dark chocolate bar with hazelnuts and I have a piece or two a day...and even that I don't even have everyday. And I am COMPLETELY fine with that. For the first time in my 'real' post-op life I don't feel afraid of being home alone and eating everything in sight. I'm trying really hard to think about why I want to eat if I know it isn't mealtime.
I'm working hard in the field I want to be in, starting a new university and major in the fall. And my boyfriend moved in with me a couple of weeks ago! That too has helped a lot with the cooking and eating set meals.

Lots of changes, many positive ones. I really hope I can continue this progress and keep asking for help when I need it. I can't do this solo, I've learned that much.

My dad is doing really well. Probably better than I have. He's still so afraid of getting sick (dumping, or from eating too much or too quickly). He's tried a bunch of new foods (he was a pickier eater than I ever was). He goes to the gym in the mornings before work. I'm very, very proud of how he's handled this. I still tell him that he may soon want to push boundaries (only because I didn't and didn't expect it) but I'm confident and he'll just keep excelling.

So that's about it for the updates!