Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Honestly

Day 1 of optifast didn't go so well. At all. That first shake of the morning was awful. The smell made me nauseous and I swear I could smell it throughout the day. I gave in and made myself a lean cuisine. Then I went to babysit and at about 8pm, I was famished and had some ham along with about 1/2 cup of rice, and then there may or may not have been a handful or two of peanut m&m's. The only good thing about yesterday, was that I had all 64oz of water. I felt pretty crappy about myself yesterday, I think I was way too hard on myself, which I promised I wouldn't be.
This morning was a whole new day and I decided to play around with the Optifast once again. I used half a pack of vanilla optifast, 1/2 cup of coffee and a tiny bit of SF hazelnut syrup...and once again, I gagged my way through 3/4 of the glass. And that was only 1/2 the powder! So for lunch, again, I had a cup of whole wheat pasta with some homemade tomato and pesto sauce. And like yesterday, I am trying really hard to at least get all my water in.

Yes, I am extremely discouraged and down...kinda debating whether I should just give up on the shakes and eat sensibly for these next 2 weeks, I never want to see/smell/taste an optifast shake ever again.

2 comments:

Amber said...

Hate to say it but you need to suck it up and do your Optifast! Reason.....after surgery, all mush food, no exceptions! Mine as well "train" yourself now! Trust me I had to do 2 weeks of pureed and I thought I was going to die, but I knew I had to do it. Just look at what your future holds. You're going to be forced to change your eating forever, so you need to prove to yourself that you can do it and the best way to do that is by starting now and following what your doctor wants you to do! You'll be fine. Just hold your nose and chug it down! You're in my thoughts!

Susy said...

I found your blog on Ambers site. Congrats on you day soon to come. Good luck to you. At this point can't you have easly digestible foods such as fruit, salads and soups pre-op? After surgery you will be better hunger wise. My cravings are gone and life is different now yes, but the struggle is over for the most part. Still battling the “head games” in my life, but not the food games anymore.
Good luck to you!

Susy